Journey: Spotting a New Moon in the Sky

“Guten Tag!”

>Yes, German greetings

So I’ve probably grown this strange-inexplicable weird uncured disease that makes me unconsciously addicted to blogging. Haha, should go to some blogging rehab! Anyways.

So its New Year’s Eve [sarcastic yay] everyone is probably getting major hangovers tonight and having a wonderful time somewhere counting down to the New Year-2010. For some reason, seems like any other day… L of a year it was. LOL weird how we always say- “It’s gonna be a better year” yet we seem to find something to make it unpleasant. I guess its just those inexplicable reasoning’s like when we unconsciously say “Bless You” after someone sneezes. Just kidding. Fail at metaphor. Lately I’ve been reflecting upon 2009, what a hell

Anyways, I’ve been reflecting lately on 2009 as I’ve mention. The only word I can find to describe it is C H A O S. As year’s go by I find myself realizing that life is getting harder. Ugh. More things are being thrown into your life… its like.. I guess in comparison to playing video games. You have level 1, level 2 ….etc. And its just like that I’m finding. I don’t know I’m probably in level 1974397328470234782734327847032. Haha at times it seems like its THAT complicated. So, I’m positive I’ve not the only one that I have been through stuff, and therefore I will speal on and bore you for a good however long it takes you to read this. Please feel free to leave comments- would love to hear what obstacles you overcame!

Self reflection...

CHOICES –

There are so many things I wish I could have changed. There are so many times I say “I could of…” just done something different. Whether it had been saying something earlier, or making an action. What make 2009 chaotic that influence choices? Well… I’d have to say:

-Studies: is definitely one of them… I choose to slack last year. Had some family issues going on, which seems more important to me than learning about Newton’s Law in Physiques. Like that was gonna solve the problem. Anyhows, definitely had a stressful semester, physiques, mathematiques, biologie and French. Very poor result of a semester. Which is currently biting me in the arse because when applying to uni’s they can CLEARLY see your grade 11 embarrassing marks. Ugh, this is one of those moments where I would say “you were right” to my parents. And get the natural “I told you so” response from them.

FRIENDS

-this one, I have to say was the hardest thing i dealt with last year. It came to a weird point between my friends and I. We suddenly “went our separate ways” and it was like (wait a minute…I thought we were suppose to say goodbye at grad! ) well I don’t know. Friendship as I’ve mention before is a hard relationship. I’ve meet a lot of people last year that were good influences, some that were really bad influences and many that was just time to say goodbye to. The thing that sucks the most about friendship, is when you get to a point in the relationship with that person that you see the “I don’t care anymore” just sucks. What could of changed? Well I guess my naiveness- me believing, no no its okay, its just a bad day. Which turned into, no its just a bad week for the person, into a , its just a bad month for the person. I guess I found myself making excuses to hang on to something that wasn’t there anymore or fading away at least.

STRESS

-I never believed doctors when they told you Stress isn’t good for your health. I guess I had one of those “I’ll believe it when I see it” momento’s. haha and surely I did. I collapse for a good 16 hours. I’ll admit it- it was the best sleep of the semester lol, felt really good. But concerned the hell out of lots of people. I guess I was stupid, I thought I could handle physiques, bio, math and French with 6 clubs and 3 sports teams. Haha good thing Maggie wasn’t around then. What did I learn from this idiotic mistake? Well, drugs, alcohol and smoking don’t mix at all. No im kidding, fail metaphor (note: I don’t what so ever do those things) anyhow, just take it easy, I guess “friends” believed that I could do anything, that I started to believe that myself. I felt like I didn’t need to worry and ignored the people who cared about me. Which was another idiotic mistake. Moral of the story: sleep is main priority above all

EXPECTATIONS

Too much. I’m starting to see a good domino pattern as I’m writing this. I expected too much from myself to give back to others. From all the commitments I made, I ended up failing to meet those expectations because ¼ of me was being divided into so many places. I guess I should have really stopped when my family expected me to do dishes, clean the house, make dinner and keep my studies up that I was pathetically selfish enough to think I could do all those and sports team and clubs. I guess I tried to build myself a wonder woman.

BOYS, BOYS, BOYS!

And they say woman are complicated species. I beg to differ!

Yeah I gotta say 2009, hell of a guy drama year. Too many intertwined conflicts that caused MUCH unessairy and avoidable drama. A lot of sleepless nights, tears, head aches and heart breaks. But sometimes, it comes to the right time to –say goodbye, when we know we gotta go our separate ways- [ oh man, some Christ brown lyrics. Anyways] I guess what I’ve learnt is how to deal with situations better. How to deal with people as in growing patience for others (still working on that ) and dealing with myself. Boys, boys, boys…definitely leant how to see through B.S, lies and experience deceit. I think guys are the hardest lesson to learn from because you never know when it will happen again. *sigh* I’ll stop here..

TODAY –LEARNING TO SAY “NO”

Well I now reflect on where I am today. Have I REALLY learnt my lesson ? Well I guess its safe to say, yes I have. We are 4 months into a new school year. Things definitely were at a rough start but… picked it up and found a motivation. I must say, second chances in life are the greatest. If you ever get a second chance in life be grateful for it. I guess I have learnt a lot over the last year, I learnt

- Don’t please others, for their sake

- People will leave you behind and use you just for their benefit

- Learn to say “no”

- Make sure you get your 8 hrs of sleep

- Make sure to read fine prints when things seem to be “too good to be true”

- Appreciate family

- Be thankful for a new day

- Regret nothing.

WHAT TO LOOK FORWARD TO:

- The end of a very long stage in life . Graduation. At last

- Summer days

- Meeting new people [accomplished]

- Following an inspiration

- Challenges in school studies

- Having more fun, be more outgoing

- Learning patience: acceptance/consideration/rejection letters

I definitely have learnt to prioritize my life in order and for that I’ve improved much as a person and in school. Life definitely is challenging, but its worth to learn and put up a good fight. Even the best fall down.

-NEW MOON-NEW START-NEW YEAR-

I hope you reflect and learnt from your mistakes, none so should be regretful but… just a lesson.

HAPPY NEW YEAR.

w. love

célina

x

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